fall through the looking glass

So life has been pretty much amazing this week. It is kind of weird. Just all of these really great little things keep happening and it is awesome!

So I've randomly decided that I'm going to read War and Peace. And I am actually going to do it instead of flaking out like I normally do when I decide I'm going to do stuff like this. School's finally slowed down some and so I have time. It will be awesome.

And my birthday is in 26 days so I am pretty excited!

Okay, I really need to go and work on my editorial illustration project now because I have not started it and it is due tomorrow. Yeah, I fail at doing things in a timely manner, shhh! I don't really care about this class/I get to opportunity to redo projects so it isn't the end of the world if I don't do well the first time.

OOOOH and I've lost weight and while it isn't a whole lot it makes me incredibly happy and is awesome.

Life is so fucking amazing.

That is all.

:D

The internet is frustrating.

I can find tv shows I have no desire to watch everywhere but it is almost impossible to find classic Doctor Who episodes anywhere. I just watched the first episode with Tom Baker in it and lo and behold I can't find the second/all the links are freaking dead. Typical.

Life is kind of going well at the moment though. So at least there's that, I suppose.

The universe is a bitch.

It is kind of insane that having a hot shower (practically for the first time since I came back - all my showers have been cold or lukewarm because my apartment is really old and starting to fall apart) can make me so happy that I start crying. The universe doesn't hate me as much as I thought it did. Granted, it will hate me again tomorrow... but right now I'm really excited and happy which makes studying seem less blah. Sooooo now my two minute break is over and it is back to studying about things I don't give a shit about. Yaaay!

Threadless is the root of all evil because it is just begging me to spend money on shirts. And I am. Or will. I don't know. I don't need anymore clothes... but... I like... a lot... and they are on sale! And I won't feel terrible since it isn't my parents money. It is mine that I got from babysitting. So I figure why not? I never buy things for myself.

First day of summer school. Am done for the day. Am already extremely exhausted. Because I am not used to getting up before 8:00. Ugh.

BUT I was really productive!

I went to my classes. I got some breakfast after my last class since it ended early. I talked to my dad. I went to the library and checked out one of my philosophy books and figured out how the reserved books thing works. I went and fixed my meal plan so I can now eat on campus. I bought my books. I went to the bank and put some moneys in my account. And then yeah... now I am here. I am about to read the 3 chapters of philosophy that I am supposed to read for tomorrow and I am going to go to the library and read the chapter of government I need to read for tomorrow. And yeah.

Now it is time for a power nap. Because I am pretty much nodding off right now.

I hate it when I expect my parents to be mad/pissed off at me and then they aren't. Because then I feel bad for thinking that they are mean and horrible. But whatevs. My dad is pretty much the awesomest ever. Cause he is all like "you got 2 Ds, so what? You'll do better next time." Which is really sweet of him to say this semester since he said that last semester when I got a D.

Getting crappy grades suck. Because I put in some effort. I mean, I always can put in more effort because I suck at time management and studying and pretty much everything... but I tried as best as I could. So I use this as further evidence of my stupidness.

And I really need to clean. Like, it is bugging me how little I have done to clean my room.

I am just all alfdjf;lakjsdflkajdflaj ajdfalkdfja;lsdkjfal;sdjfa;l fjalksdjfalsdkjfal;sdkfj3rwoeifjasdlkfasl84theeflf.

Yeah. Try pronouncing that. :P

So I am taking a short break to say how much I freaking love cleaning and getting rid of shit. I now totally realize why my cleaning other summers never really turned out how I wanted it to. It is cause I wouldn't throw anything away. I would just come up with some sort of complex organizational system to store it. But I've only been cleaning for about 2 hours and I'm almost on my third garbage bag full of trash. I don't need papers that I wrote in 8th and 9th grade or tons of other shit I have saved. Oh. This is good. This is fabulous. I am excited! YAY!

And I just found $4 in change! How cool is that? Not really that cool... but shhh!

So. Having friends is fucking awesome. I don't know how I managed to survive without human contact for this long. Life feels infinitely better and amazing and everything. I fucking love this.

OMFG, FRIENDS.

*wins at life*

I'm really glad I went to BA. *flails about* Human contact was greatly needed.

I really, really, really want it to be summer right now. Which is saying something because I fucking hate summer. But I'm so stressed and it is weird because none of my classes are that stressful. But it is like I am getting stressed over these tests and projects and then after they are done I am still stressing about them. It is weird and crazy.

I'm super excited about not having any tests or projects due next week.

I am also excited about Bobcat Awakening. Which is weird... because I feel like everyone is going to want to convert me into some God-believing, Jesus-loving freak-ish person. But I think it will be nice to get away from campus and not be at my computer and just chill for three days.

I need to find out how to get a good night sleep. Maybe that's part of the stress thing. Lack of quality sleep. Waking up every 10 minutes does not help anything.

So I thought that maybe my woman studies professor last year was kindof crazy in thinking that there was so much sexism in art/art history. And then I have this male art history professor... and his take on female nudes is pretty fucking sexist.

New baby cousin! Isabella Michelle! So excited!

I had an appointment with Pam today. I freaking love Pam. She's the best psychologist I've ever had. Third time's a charm, yeah? Anyway. I fluctuate between loving going to see her and hating it. But it really has to do if I think I need to go or not. And I was so stressed out that it felt so good to be all *talks to her*. And yeah. I ♥ her.

I broke my favorite purse. Tear.

I am a pack rat. I need to declutter my life and throw all of this random shit away. I just need to get some garbage bags and throw everything in them and put them in the dumpster. Life would be better if I did that.

I'm trying to focus. Focusing on goals is something I've never been good at. I should spend less time on the computer. Maybe that would help my focusing. I don't know.

I tried writing today. I remember why I gave it up. It is stupid and frustrating.

Focus, Jennifer, focus.

So. I have wanted to update since I got back from Belize. But I just haven't found the time. And I had planned on this big update talking about how I've done a lot of thinking about everything. But I don't feel like it.

School is fine. It is school.

I don't know... meh.

My roommate is a bitch.

A incredibly huge mothereffing bitch.

She submitted a roommate change request. And I am all like WTF?

Because um, I have been a decent roommate. I keep my side of the room clean (well, I have been since she moved back in) and I don't constantly snooze my alarm and I am respectful of her things - I don't even use her fucking fridge. She wants me to move out so a friend of hers can move in. But newsflash FUCK NO.

I have lived here all semester. She has lived here, at the most, a month. I am an art major, this dorm is right across the street from the art building. She is not an art major and therefore does not need this location like I do. I like my suitemates and she hardly knows them. This is utter bullcrap. BULLCRAP.

Since she's been back I've been making an effort to talk to her. Because I overheard her telling someone that our situation was "awkward" because I didn't make an "effort". But, bitch please, I've been making a huge effort to like her and talk to her...

She can't do this to me. I'm so going to bitch her out whenever I see her next. I wouldn't be nearly as upset if she had asked me to move out instead of getting our RA to do it. I might have considered moving if she had asked. But this was totally unexpected and bitchy.

How much do I want this? A lot.

I was in a exceedingly good mood today until I talked to my daddy. Because I just found out my brother's best friend's dad died. The kid is only 15. And his brother is only in, like, 5th grade or something. It is just horrible that their dad died at such a young age. And it makes me miss my dad so incredibly much that I would be willing to walk all the way home to see him. I hate feeling homesick.

Dumbledore is gay. I don't care all that much, surprisingly.

I hate school.

My visit to see Amanda = fun/fantastic/amazing.

Hopefully I am going home this weekend.

And my photo class should just die.

There is a girl in my photo class who is the biggest whorebucket ever. There are little rooms that you go into to load film, right? She totally fucking opens my door exposing my film to light before I can fucking process it.

By some sort of miracle my film was not ruined.

But I'm still fucking pissed.